Why did this happen?
What did everything before this mean?
What do I do now?
Constantly they replay themselves over and over again. And it just stinks. Can I say that? It's awful. Break ups, loss, heartbreaks all just stink. And we are left with these questions just constantly repeating themselves. I tend to think that if I have all these answers then maybe just maybe I'll have closure. Closure. We long for it as if it was a necessity. Our hearts ache for it, seeming to break and fear that without it, our hearts will always stay broken.
But why?
Well honestly...
I don't think we need it.
And I think that's okay.
I think rarely the Lord will ever give real answers to our questions in the way we expect them to come. We weep and hurt in the process, but maybe the true grace is being okay in the unknown. The 'whys' torture our souls. They feed off of fear, anxiety, and pain. They complicate the already complicated process of processing. If I really believe that the Lord is faithful and good then I have to know and be okay with resting not in a 'why', but in a 'why not'. And it's not because the Lord doesn't love me. Everything is always done because He does.
So instead of closure, I am resting in knowing His grace and love is enough.
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